The Miracle of Forgiveness

I don't know if I ever posted my original copy of this, 'The Choice'. I wrote The Choice probably 2010 and just pulled this out and rewrote it today. I feel like it still needs work but the next version may have to wait another three years. :) 

The Miracle of Forgiveness

Anna Lofgren
    “I hate him!” she sobbed. “He’s ruined my life and I can never forgive him!” the slight figure in front of the tiny, grimy, trailer house window looked haggard and old for her years. She stared aimlessly as dusk slowly enveloped the surrounding trailers. A dark figure was moving up the road towards her. For a moment she didn’t recognize him. She brushed a dark curl from her eyes and leaned closer, straining to recognize the features. It was him! It was Robin. She hadn’t been expecting him until dawn at least, as it was a Friday night and his usual habit was to stay out late with friends, drinking away the small paycheck he had earned during the week.

    She shivered and pulling the sleeves of her worn sweater over her hands she hugged herself against the cold. It was November and since they didn’t have the money to pay the bills the last few months their heat had been turned off. Her mind wandered back to that day, she had managed to convince Robin to give her a few dollars of his paycheck for groceries when he had stopped by after work to eat before meeting up with his drinking buddies for the weekend. As their town was a small one, everyone knew them and everyone looked down on her. When she had gone to the store, the clerk had hurried to ring up her items, speaking to her once to give Mercy her total and even then with averted eyes. People were ashamed to associate with them. Robin’s reputation affected hers, she had no social life and had never been so lonely as in the last year and a half of her marriage to her alcoholic and abusive husband. She longed for the months following their wedding back, those days when he’d loved and cherished her, provided for her and they had been happy.

    A hand on her shoulder jerked her back to the present. She turned and seeing her husband’s 6 ft standing over her, shrunk back. It was half way relieving to see him in so early, at least she wouldn’t have to go out and bring him home like she did many nights lately. But something was different tonight. He did not reek of alcohol tonight, something didn’t feel right.

    “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He stepped back awkwardly. “It’s just, well, there’s something I need to say to you.” she watched him warily, not answering him, not moving.     

    “Earlier, after I’d left you for the night, I stopped at those revival meetings in town with a guy from work. He’s been bugging me all week about going with him and I finally consented to get him off my back. Figured it’d be at least entertainment. But what I came away with wasn’t something to joke about. I came away a changed man. On the way home I passed the bar and the temptation for just one drink swept over me. I almost gave in but I remembered what the speaker had said about resisting temptation and I prayed. You know? God gave me the strength to continue on without stopping. He paused, “Mercy, I know that I’ve hurt you and I don’t know that it will ever be able to be fixed, but I’m so sorry and I’m begging for you to forgive me!” a tear slipped down Mercy’s cheek and Robin reached to wipe it away but she turned and retreated to her room, locking the door behind her. She sat down on their tiny bed and sobbed.

    As the weeks went by, Mercy grew more and more bitter. Now that Robin was determined to change, and had somehow got this whole ‘God thing’ going for himself, he had been working to gain back her respect and trust. This week he had come home straight from work every night. Friday he brought her roses then had prepared dinner with candles. She refused to accept the things that he did. She was sure he’d return to the same man he’d turned into before and she was frustrated that he’d even try to make it up to her, as if anything could undo the months of abuse and her tainted reputation. But something really was changed about him, she couldn’t deny that.

    She was miserable. Half of her longed for the peace and forgiveness her husband had found but the other half struggled against it. The grudge she clung to so desperately tortured her. She couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t eat, she couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t stand the presence of Robin and finally she decided to file for a divorce. With this settled in her mind, it somehow gave her the strength to force herself to sleep, with the hope dawning in her mind that tomorrow she would leave him and with him, her problems and their terrible past.  

    She drifted in and out of a restless sleep for the first half of the night. At some point towards dawn she thought she awoke to a tall dark figure standing in the open doorway of her bedroom. He was beckoning to her and something compelled her to follow him. He led her outside of town. Next thing she knew she was being led into a large room and up to a desk. Behind it sat two men, one wore white and had a radiant face, wearing a gentle expression. The other wore black. His face was ugly, scarred and hateful.

    “Mercy Roscoe, Sir.” said the man that had brought her in, addressing the man in white. The man robed in white ran a finger down a page on the desk in front of Him, and so did the man in black as he smiled wickedly.

    “Bitterness!” the man in white murmured sadly and Mercy thought she saw tears in his eyes.    

    “He has changed, and though he has hurt you in the past, don’t you think it would be better to forgive than clinging to your anger? Bitterness will kill you slowly. I can’t take your scars away, but I can make something far more beautiful from them!” He turned tender eyes on her and the beseeching look in his eyes almost made her choose forgiveness, but the man in black seeing he was about to lose her spoke, his voice seemed to rip through her soul and tear it to shreds,

    “Bitterness is easier than forgiving.” he stated convincingly. Mercy nodded, turning angrily on the man in white,

    “How do you expect me to forgive him? Look what he has done to my life!” Mercy cried bitterly. The man in black nodded approvingly.
    “You can’t forgive him, you shouldn’t! He agreed gesturing to a man standing behind him, also dressed in black, a long hooded cloak.

    “No!” The man in white cried out, a look of agony crossing his face, “Look, I forgave you your sins, can’t you forgive Robin?” he begged. But Mercy ignored him and took the hand that the hooded man was extending to her. His hand was icy and it was as if her hand was stuck in his even though he hardly gripped it.

    They exited the room and headed down a foreboding, woods lined path. The further they went, the darker it became and before long Mercy felt completely lost. Finally they arrived at a large stone building, a thick barrier, also made of stone surrounded it. The man leading her unchained the gate letting them in and re-chained it behind them. He led her to the door and pulled on it. It swung open on creaking rusty hinges. Inside it was completely dark, no windows, just cold stone walls and arches leading to more dark, stone-walled rooms.

    The man led her through the first arch and the sight that met her eyes shocked her. She gasped. Men, women, even teenagers and children were sprawled on the hard floor, covered in waste. Some slept, some sat or lay and stared blankly, all of them were fettered with sturdy chains. Mercy turned to her guide with a horrified questioning look.

    “Bitterness.” He spoke for the first time, his voice icy like his hand. Before she knew it she was sitting on the cold, dirty floor, also wearing chains and the man was gone.

    Days passed and she slept, when she wasn’t asleep she thought about Robin, blaming him for her misfortune. Day and night was the same for her. Often, man came either bringing another person or taking one through the arch into the darkness beyond the room she was in, sometimes both.

    Then one day it was her turn and the man led her into the next room. More chains were put on her, heavier, stronger chains. This room was even darker and colder. Echoing with the sobs and moans of others sharing her miserable fate. It seemed like an eternity before the man came for her again. Each archway led to a darker and more miserable prison. She had no idea how much time had passed but she had been moved several times, and the last archway she could see led to an eternal burning pit. She had seen many people be led away and then brought back only to be pushed, screaming, over the edge into the hungry flames never to return. The weight of the chains surpassed her strength, she felt weak and defeated. Finally the tall hooded man came back for her. She was brought again into the room where the two men sat at the desk.

    “Mercy Roscoe.” The man announced, retreating to his station behind the man in black.

    “Yes, I know her.” The man in white said sadly. Before he could say anymore, Mercy fell to her knees, tears streaming down her pale and sunken cheeks.

    “Forgive me!” She pleaded. The man in white looked so deeply into her haunted eyes, she felt them burning through her soul.

    “You are ready to forgive Robin?” His voice was hopeful.

    “I forgive him!” Mercy sobbed, her face hidden in her hands. The man in black stood up to protest, but the man in white stood as well and took a key from the desk. He unlocked the chains binding her and helped her to stand.
    She stood feeling freer and lighter than she ever had.

    Mercy woke with a start. She looked at her alarm clock, it was hardly 2:00 AM. She threw off the covers and hurried into the living room where Robin was asleep on the couch.

    “God! Forgive me for being stubborn and help me to forgive him! Give me love!” she knelt next to his sleeping form, tears flooding her eyes. A great longing to hold him and an overwhelming love swept over her, she reached out and gently brushed his messy brown hair from his forehead. He woke at her touch.
    “Mercy?” he asked in surprise. His voice was scratchy from sleep as he propped himself on one arm and tentative yet gentle fingers brushed a tear from her face. She clung to his hand, and he pulled her into his arms, for a few minutes she couldn’t talk still shook up from the terrible reality of the dream she had just woken from. Finally she pulled back wiping away the tears with the cuffs of her sweater.
    “I need to tell you, I’ve forgiven you. I don’t want to go through life chained by bitterness.” Her voice still shook from crying. “And I hope you can forgive me.”

    “If you want, I’d like to go through life as friends instead of enemies?” Mercy said, a question in her tone. An excited and relieve smile spread across Robin’s handsome features and he pulled her back into a tight embrace.
    “I’d love that!” he whispered. Mercy smiled through more tears. The intense relief and joy nearly drowning her.

    Mercy had never believed in miracles but now she knew, only a miracle and a forgiving God could explain this second chance she had been given and the way her chains had been unlocked.