She Thought She Was Invincible

The sky was oppressively grey and a brisk wind cut through Janna Karlson’s jacket, chilling her as she walked into it. The time was only five but it felt like it was at least nine, but the time always felt later during the long Minnesotan winters because of Daylight Savings time. She zipped her black sports jacket up to her chin and shoved her hands deep into her pockets. The wind seeped through her jeans and her legs ached with the cold. It was only mid-November but there had already been snow, most of it had melted leaving just a little as a reminder that winter was coming.
    Janna reached for her cell phone wedged into her back jean pocket, then remembered that it was dead and sighed. She was almost home anyways, another mile. She had been dropped off at her best friend’s place a couple miles from her, after school to do homework together. Their parents were gone so Janna had decided to walk home after, it was only a little over two miles and she figured she could make it before dark. But dark was approaching fast and she knew she had another half an hour walk at least. She picked up her pace to a quick walk, despite feeling numbed and fatigued.
     Her mom had warned her against this, walking alone after dark, especially on this road, it was remote and hardly populated, you could walk a mile without running into any traffic or houses, out in the middle of nowhere. So many times she had argued with her mom,
    “Nothing would ever happen mom! And if anybody stopped, I’d just run or beat them up or hide in the ditch.” She felt confident in her abilities to escape. “Mom! Just chill! Those things only happen on TV shows or in books, what are the chances that I’ll get abducted, raped, murdered? What are the chances?”
     “As good as any other girl’s chances.” her mom had insisted but she wrote her mom off, what did her mom know? She was just overly paranoid! But now she was starting to get nervous, she kept checking behind herself, scanning the woods around her, all the horror stories she had ever read or watched started playing through her mind. She blocked them out and pressed on towards home, but she wished that she had at least thought to charge her cell phone.
    A car came around the corner making her jump and scream. She laughed at herself still a bit shaky as she watched the taillights of the car disappear around the next bend. It was now completely dark and freezing cold. She was just about to turn into her driveway when she heard something behind her. She froze, holding her breath, straining to hear the noise.
    “It’s nothing, Stupid! Quit being so paranoid!” she muttered to herself, moving forwards again.
    
    Darwin Clinton stepped out into the frigid night air, sometimes he wondered if his habit was worth it since his wife refused to let him smoke inside especially with the new baby and all. He sighed, lighting his cigarette he pulled in a long drag and let it out slowly, the white streaming through the dark night air, illuminated by the light from the window behind him.
    He watched as a car drove around the circle drive that he lived off of along with several neighbors, and suddenly the lights turned off and a moment later he heard the engine turn off at the other end of the loop next to the Karlson’s. He figured it must be a visitor, but he thought it weird that they’d have company when no one was home. He’d stopped by just earlier and they’d been gone and he could see all the lights were still out. He wasn’t snoopy though and he quickly forgot about it, his mind mulling over more important things, like his job and being a dad now.
    A terrified scream pierced the biting winter air jerking Darwin back to the present. He tossed the remainder of his cigarette over the porch and listened again. He heard the engine of the car and without thinking started running toward where the scream had come from, all the while cursing himself for not taking note of the unfamiliar car and the weird behavior.
    He reached the spot but there was no one there, the car was gone. He pulled out his phone and shone around on the ground looking for evidence, fresh tire tracks, not like that was evidence, he knew it had been there. Then in some snow to his right he saw something dark. Blood. A trail of it to where tracks showed the car had been parked, like someone had a bad nose bleed or a minor cut. His numb fingers fumbled to dial 911.
    “They were just here within the last ten minutes. I saw the car come through here, turn off his lights about there and then kill the engine in this spot. I thought they might be a visitor of the Karlson’s who live right here but a few minutes later I heard a scream, it sounded like a girl’s and she sounded pretty scared.” Darwin told the police pointing out the Karlson’s and his own place, “By the time I got down here from my place just up there, they were gone.”
    “Do you know the Karlson’s well? Do you know where they are tonight or have any clue who the girl might have been if it was a girl?” The officer questioned, his flashlight beam made a large light patch on the frozen gravel at their feet.
    “Yeah we’re pretty good friends, I’m not sure where they are tonight, I know they do have a daughter but I’m not sure if it was her or not. You want me to call Karlson’s right now?”
    “You could do that. We’re going to investigate a little.”
    Darwin walked off a few feet, scrolling through the contacts in his phone and selected Mason Karlson’s cell phone. It rang three times before the line clicked and a deep male voice answered,
    “Hello, this is Mason.”     
    “Hey Mason, this is Darwin, is Janna with you guys?”
    “No. She should be home. She was going over to her friend’s after school and was going to get a ride home from her friend’s mom.”
    “Well, I’m standing outside your house right now and it’s pretty dark in there. Looks still to me.” Darwin turned to look at his neighbor’s quiet house.
    “Really? Maybe she stayed at her friend’s, I don’t know.” Mason sounded a little annoyed now and Darwin hurried to explain.
    “I’m sorry I sound rude, but the only reason I called is because there are police out here investigating what looks like it could have been a kidnapping out in front of your place and I was hoping your daughter was safe.”
    “A what?” Mason’s voice had a hint of panic in it now. “You know what? Donna and I will be right home, we’re only a couple miles.”
    “Alright. I’ll talk to you then.” Darwin hung up.
    Before too long, more headlights showed up. Mason parked in front of the garage and a very distressed Donna hurried from the passenger side,
    “We called her cell phone and it’s off, so we called her friend and she supposedly left a couple hours ago before dark.” Donna called anxiously, her stiletto heels making it hard for her to hurry across the icy pavement. She looked around the grim group of men and all of her hope faded. “What are we going to do Mason?” she whispered, reaching for her husband’s arm to steady herself. He wrapped his arms around her,
    “I don’t know darling. All we can do at this point is pray, let’s get you inside then I’ll talk to the officers and see what can be done.” He lead her slowly towards the house. She seemed dazed and cooperative. Darwin watched the couple go, grief and sympathy for them searing his heart like the hot pain of a torn muscle.  
    “Is there anything you can do?” Mason later beseeched the officers after his wife was safely settled inside.
     “There’s really very little we can do with so little evidence, we have no way to know anything about the abduction if that’s what it was. I’m sorry. We’ll do what we can though. I promise that.” And they left. Darwin put his hand on his neighbor’s shoulder.
    “I’m here man, whatever we can help with my wife and I will do!” Mason nodded numbly,
    “Thanks Darwin.” They went their separate ways, Darwin walked back through the biting night air to his warm house, his wife and brand new baby girl, but Mason stood for a long time staring at the night sky. Praying for the first time in a long time, praying that God would bring his baby girl back to them safely.

    But the desperate prayers and all the worrying and waiting and looking were pointless. When Janna was found, all they found was her mutilated, lifeless body, frozen stiff in a ditch, half dressed and beat up.
    A week of sleepless nights had gone by. A week of worrying, praying, tears, and then her body was found, hardly ten miles from home.
    The funeral was held that weekend.
    Mason looked down into the angelic face of his sleeping daughter, tears filling his downcast eyes, tears of regret, he felt he could have stopped it somehow, if only he had investigated before the scream, tears of pain for the Karlson family, and tears of fear of the world that his innocent child had to grow up in. A soft, unsure, female voice brought his eyes back to the stage.
    “First I want to thank everyone for the support that you have given my husband and me in this horrifying nightmare of losing Janna. And secondly, I want to say something for Janna. You can never be too careful! You girls who think that something like this would never happen to you, that’s what Janna thought. We had so many fights over her safety. I am a mother so I am paranoid, but I only wanted to protect my baby from the people I knew were out there. You think that you could fight off an attacker, but more likely than not you couldn’t! Please don’t make the same mistake that Janna made! Please, please watch yourself and stay safe!” Her voice was tearful and beseeching, full of passion, pleading with her audience. Girls were crying, a couple of Janna’s friends huddled in a front row, crying and hugging. Silent tears coursed down Mrs. Karlson’s face as she finished,
    “You’re not invincible! It happened to Janna, in a small town, and she thought she was invincible!”

Silence

     Her face was hard and blank. She sat across from me, arms folded, one leg crossed over the other twisting her toes in little circles, her Mocha Latte steaming on the edge of the table in front of her. She refused to meet my eyes, refused to let me in.
     "I know you have no reason to trust anyone." I say softly, longing to reach out and touch this girl I've met for coffee, help her, make it alright. "And if you don't trust me, I"ll understand, but I want you to know that I am going to be here for you, I may not have the answers but I care about your life and your pain." I gripped my coffee tighter, bringing it up to my mouth I took a sip, it scorched my tongue and I scrubbed it against my teeth trying to get rid of the burnt sensation.
     She looked at me with eyes, glassy from unshed tears, and for a moment I felt as if a window to her soul  had been opened and I was seeing her for who she really was, a lost scared child, alone and aching for love and forgiveness, compassion, help, someone to come along beside her and lead her to the light. For that moment, her expressive green eyes entreated me to help her. She leaned forwards, arms on the table, pleading with me to take away the pain.
     I hesitated, searching for words, and just as quickly as she had opened up, she closed the shutters, securing behind the safe familiar chains, the entrance to her soul. My heart longed to tell her how in closing out the pain, she was chaining out the love she so desperately longed for as well. In trying to protect herself from hate and hurt and the nightmares that kept haunting her, she was really guarding herself from love and healing, that she would never find freedom from blocking out the tragedies and nightmares, denying that the scars are there when they are so obviously there, so real and vivid and painful, she would never find the healing and security she longed for.
     But as I groped for the answers, my mind felt empty, I realized I had nothing to offer this hurting girl. We continued to sit, the desperate ticking of the clock as the seconds slipped away and we avoiding each others gaze continued in agonizing, hopeless silence.

Miss Sneezy's Family

     My latest story, a children's story... Thoughts? I think I'll write a couple more in the series, already have a few more ideas. Any of you have ideas? :)

     Miss Sneezy lives with her puppy Daisy and her cat Caesar in the middle of a town called Birchmont. Her residence is a rickety attic apartment above a a print shop by the name of Inky Fingers' Print Shop. Inky Fingers is the owner, the print shop has been passed down many generations and if you'll sit long enough, Inky loves to drone on about his family history. He's very long winded and never tires of telling the same story as often as anyone ill listen to him. His living quarters are at the back of the shop.
     When Miss Sneezy found this dwelling, though a bit dusty and musty, she felt extremely fortunate. Inky was lonely for company so he offered her a low price and a job as his house keeper and really they  got along well. Inky felt that the goodies that Sneezy baked by far outweighed the small annoyance of her late night creakings as she paced the floor above him, plotting her latest novel and the clickety-clacking of her typewriter as she tapped away at the keys, putting her splendid ideas onto paper, he thought was rather lulling. And for Miss Sneezy, she didn't mind so much the musty smell of her room, it was, after you got used to it rather romantic and inspiring, like an old used book shop. And Inky's loud snoring hardly disturbed her racing thoughts and fingers. Even the dust Was thought provoking, sparkling through the air as light streamed through the window, illuminating it. So it was a fine arrangement.
     Miss Sneezy's sister, Georgia, did not share these sentiments. Georgia with her little turned up nose and perfect blond curls was disgusted by her sister inhabiting such a place! She had tried to convince her to find something more sophisticated, but Miss Sneezy reminded her she was only a writer, not a celebrity, she did not need anything fancy, nor did she have the finances.
     Georgia refused to call on Miss Sneezy once she was moved into the attic, unless it was absolutely unavoidable. She had tolerated the animal hair and dandruff from Caesar and Daisy, though if either came within ten feet of her she stared them down with a steely glare sending them whimpering in the other direction. She had set her teeth when Miss Sneezy offered "More tea George?" though George was a perfectly hideous name and it made her want to scream. But the print shop, the musty attic... and the eccentric Inky Fingers, was intolerable! Inky frightened and bored her and she was sure one of these days the decrepit floor boards would just fall apart. So she no longer called on her sister Miss Sneezy.
     Miss Sneezy had a large family, six siblings in all. Besides Georgia there were Knightly, a fine gentleman in progress, Skippy, a little butterfly of a girl and 'such a dear!' as Miss Sneezy often put it, Bubbles, always laughing and quite over dramatic, then were Georgia and herself, Prim was a Victorian stoic, Giggles a wonderful tease and Hero, the oldest was everyone's favorite, married to his sweet little wife, Darling, they had the cutest baby in the entire world (forgive me for being biased) his name was Charles, but they called him Chubby.
     Prim and Giggles lived in a little country house which considering their extreme opposite personalities is really a wonder they got along at all, but they did and Prim raised horses, and Giggles sold vegetables and baked goods at a little stand by the road.
     Today was Friday, the day that Giggles baked for her stand, and Sneezy always helped her. She slipped on her favorite apron and kissed Daisy's wet pink nose,
     "Now Dear, don't you trouble Inky and don't get into a squabble with Caesar, you just be a good little puppy while mommy is gone!" Daisy wagged her tail excitedly, and licked Miss Sneezy's face.
     "Caesar." Miss Sneezy turned to the large black cat sunning himself in the window, "I'm leaving you in charge. I won't be out too late." Caesar yawned and lazily stretched then settled more comfortably on the sill, trying to disguise the importance he felt with indifference.
     As the door closed behind her, Miss Sneezy sighed to herself.
      "I do hope they behave!" She worried. A sudden tickle in her nose distracted her thoughts and she sneezed loudly several times, almost falling down the rickety steps in the middle of the print shop.
     "Bless you!" Inky exclaimed coming into view below. Miss Sneezy scrubbed her itchy nose furiously with her palm, relieving a bit of the discomfort and giving a loud snort as she descended the creaking staircase.
     "Thank you deary!"
     "Are you going out?" Inky inquired,
     "It's Friday." She reminded, "Baking day!" she smiled up at him, though Inky was short, she was shorter yet.
     "That's right. Well goodbye then."
     "Bye!" she bustled out the door, only to pop her head in a moment later, "Keep an ear out for Daisy and Caesar, will ya? They've been quarreling lately and I'm just a bit uncomfortable with leaving them home alone together."
     "I'll let Daisy down to be with me, don't fret Miss Sneezy, I'll take care of it!"
     "Oh, thank you! You're such a dear!" She blew a kiss.
     "Bring me some blueberry pop tarts when you come!" Inky called after her.
     "I will." She promised then chuckled to herself as she hopped onto her motorcycle,
     "I should have known he had a selfish ulterior motive behind that sugar sweetness! He's such a dear!" She turned the key and her motorcycle roared to life and she shot off over the bumpy paved road towards Giggles' cottage.
     "Woo hoo! I'm here!" She announced not bothering to knock, then sneezed loudly three times.
     "I could hear you from the moment you started that bike of yours! And your sneeze could wake the dead, at least use a tissue! I don't want germs all over my goodies!" Giggles bustled, shoving a tissue towards her sister. Giggles always carried an extra tissue with her and was forever blowing her nose.
     Sneezy gingerly took the tissue and set it on a chair, tissues made her queasy, even clean ones. She sneezed again, this time away from Giggles baked goods.
     "Wash your hands and you can make the pop tarts." Giggles instructed cheerfully.
     "Inky ordered at least a dozen blueberry pop tarts." Sneezy announced.
     "Okay, I'll put that into your share of the final goods." Giggles offered.
     "Thank you." Just then a staccato rap on the door interrupted them.
     "Prim!" Giggles shrieked. Prim came out of a back room, a thick textbook in front of her face and gold rimmed glasses on the tip of her aristocratic nose.
     "Yes Giggles?" She looked at them over her spectacles.
     "Someone's at the - " Another staccato rap interrupted her. Prim answered the door.
     "Georgia." She greeted primly, "Bubbles, Knightly, Skippy." She gave them all a stiff hug.
     "Welcome, make yourself at home Dears!" Giggles called.
     "Oh! It's just like a family reunion!" Bubbles squealed hugging first Giggles then Sneezy and last of all Prim, leaving the last with a loud dramatic smooch on the cheek. "All of us here this is wonderful! I really love this house, so quaint and sweet. I've always liked the country too. I'm still working on convincing mom and pops to move into that little farm house late Farmer Jack owned. I think it would be lovely living out in such a peaceful place." Bubbles rattled off at lightening speed. hardly pausing for breath. As she continued to chatter gaily to Giggles. Prim had retreated and Knightly and Skippy had helped themselves to cookies and milk and were seated at the counter conversing about butterflies and plans for their tree fort. Georgia stiffly resting her delicate snowy glove on Sneezy's arm, invited her for a short stroll, down the lane. Sneezy obliged.
     "I wanted to once again-" Georgia was interrupted by a sneeze from her sister that echoed through the surrounding woods. She set her jaw and bit back the edgy words that came to her tongue.
     "As I was saying, I would like to once again entreat you to reconsider your choice of abode." She adjusted her bonnet and proceeded. "And your allergies- get rid of those filthy pets!" She turned up her nose.
     "Filthy pets!" Sneezy's voice was carefully controlled. "George." she began candidly, not observing the horrified tremor that shook her sister at this address. "My pets are not filthy. They're cleanly, Caesar constantly is bathing himself and about my residence, Inky is an excellent landlord and really such a dear! I have no intentions of moving."
      "Don't you dare go getting sweet on that Inky! It'd be a disgrace to your family!" Georgia shuttered.
     "I'll do as I please." Sneezy tossed back.
     "Very well, good day sister." Georgia stalked off in a huff, but even her stalk was a graceful glide.
     "Hmph!" Sneezy huffed and returned to the cottage to finish baking.
     At the end of the day, Sneezy packed up her share of the baked goods, kissed Giggles goodbye and zipped back to the print shop in Birchmont.
     "How's my baby?" She greeted bending to pet the golden lab at the door of the shop then as she straightened up, her eyes took in the mess, paper strewn, inky paws followed by inky shoe prints leading to an ink covered and disheveled Inky in the corner, head in his hands. He looked at her wearily and wiped more black on his already smudged face.
     "Sneezy didn't know whether to laugh or scold or cry and so as she was undecided she sat down next to Inky with the blueberry pop tarts, taking tow she handed him one, they bit and chewed slowly, surveying the disaster surrounding them. Daisy, tail between her legs and a repentant look in her soft brown eyes stood a little way off whimpering.
     Sneezy's heart softened,
     "Here Baby." She held out a third pop tart to Daisy. "Don't worry." she crooned, kissing the puppy's nose, "We'll clean it up, you're not bad, only playful." Daisy thumped her tail and licked her chops, seemingly relieved and Inky reached blackened fingers for another pop tart.
    "The pop tarts are worth the mess." he chuckled, and silently Sneezy agreed. Just then there was a jealous meow and Caesar appeared at the bottom of the stairs, looking at the group as if to ask why he wasn't invited, but when he was offered a pop tart he turned up his nose and padded up the stairs as if it were 'sour grapes'! Curling in his window sill, he sulked about the 'unfairness' of life.

Fallen Heroes - Chapter 1

Okay guys, I'm not gonna upload more than the first chapter right now, I only have a little more than 3 of 7 chapters written, it's just a short book I guess unless I decide to change my plans, I do have a complete plot and chapter "skeletons" written out, just need to take the time to work on it, my style is kinda honest and out there and the subject I'm writing is a bit sensitive...I don't know if any of that needs to be changed, less detailed... Keep in mind this is a really rough draft, I need to go back and 'show' what's goin on a little more instead of 'telling' I tend to 'tell' more when I'm not as inspired... the first part in bold lettering was my original starting paragraph but then I got down to the end at the beginning of that next paragraph and was like 'Maybe this would be a better start' so yeah now that I'm done with this long intro...give me your thoughts! It'd be great to get some feedback from anyone reading this!:-)

Chapter 1: Insecurities

    Esther pulled on the same worn-out, black, t-shirt she’d worn nearly every day since first day of school. She wished that for once in her life she could wear a pretty dress to school like the other girls in first grade. She wondered why her mom never had any money, why did her mom have to be an alcoholic, constantly at the bar meeting new guys and bringing them home for the night? She dreaded school, the teasing and the bullying because she was poor, she barely made it through each day, only to an environment much worse.
    That night she lay in bed, she had tucked herself in, her mom had never tucked her in as far back as she could remember she always had to fend for herself. Her mom was too preoccupied by her tragic love life full of hook-ups that lasted a week at the longest. The night was hot making sleep almost impossible, and on top of the terrible humidity, she could hear her mom and the current boyfriend in the adjoining room.
    Esther silently cursed the paper thin walls of the trailer her mother rented. She tried to block out the sounds coming from the next room, sounds that no eight-year-old should understand, and yet she did. Years of pain and living in a less than ideal, rough living situation had hardened and pushed Esther to a maturity beyond her years, forced her to grow up. There was a hardened sense of reality about her no child should have.
     She squeezed her pillow over her ears and was finally able to sleep.
    Esther awoke suddenly to a figure standing over her, tall and husky, it was her mom’s boyfriend. He seated himself on the bed next to her. Fear swelled in her chest making it hard to breathe. She lay stiff, motionless, unsure what to do. He reached to stroke her hair with his large hands. She tensed beneath his fingers.
     “I won’t hurt you beautiful!” he crooned touching her face. Eventually his fingers began moving down over her body, her stomach, hips, legs- he stood suddenly and removed his boxers, then lowered his heavy body over hers, reaching for her underwear. She felt paralyzed, her heart raced. Mustering all of her strength she screamed loudly. He shoved his rough hand over her soft lips, cutting her off before she could scream.
    The pain was agonizing, she wondered how anyone could enjoy this act, it was so horrifying, so dirty, and violating! It seemed like an eternity but he finally got off of her and redressed himself.
    “If you dare tell anyone I’ll slit your throat!” He growled menacingly. She was silent, too shocked to even cry, “Did you hear me?” he slapped her face roughly. She just nodded.
    “Good!” and he left. She hugged herself, her body aching as well as her heart. She felt empty, defiled, violated. Tears burned her eyes and she closed them tight against the great frightening darkness, but the darkness brought horrifying images. She tried to sleep but she couldn’t. After an eternity of laying in the darkness, hugging herself, her whole body trembling, she finally fell into a haunted sleep.
    Her mom shook her awake, she flinched, her shoulder was bruised under her mom’s grasp.
    “Get ready for school, you’re gonna be late!” Esther groaned but immediately obeyed, knowing that delaying would only be rewarded with a slap or her mom dragging her out of bed.
    “What is on your nightgown?!” Her mom exclaimed, noticing the small spot of blood on Esther’s nighty. She ripped back the sheets and there was also a small amount of blood in the sheets.
    “You have your period. Get ready for school and I’ll find you a sanitary pad” her mom said grudgingly as if Esther had committed a crime.  
    Esther wondered what a period was and if it had anything to do with having been raped. She knew that sex and periods had something to do with babies, would she get pregnant? She felt terrified suddenly. What if she got pregnant? She’d heard the other girls a little older than her discussing all these things and they said having a baby hurt. She brushed tears away from her face and hurriedly changed her underwear and got dressed for school, putting her dirty clothes into her laundry basket. She would have to wash them later.
    “Here, put this into your underwear.” Her mom ordered handing her a sanitary pad, “And put this in your backpack for school.” she added handing her a few more.
    “Okay.” Esther wasn’t sure how to use it exactly. When her mom saw her standing looking at it in a confused manner she briefly explained its use.
    Esther wanted to ask her questions; what is a period? Why do women have them? How do they make babies? Will I get pregnant now that I have it? She felt confused and ashamed.
    She made it through the day again. All the day though, fear clenched her stomach, at lunch she didn’t touch her food, her stomach was too tight to eat anything, she thought she would vomit.
    That night her mom’s boyfriend was over again, she knew her mom must be sleeping when she heard a single person moving around, her mom’s boyfriend usually let himself out after they had finished. Dread filled her, her stomach knotted. What if he came in again. She didn’t have long to wonder, her door creaked open and a large figure once again entered her room.
    “Shhh! Don’t make a sound!” he whispered roughly and repeated his actions of the night before. And once again before he left he threatened her.
    Her mom, was still with this boyfriend, Brad, after three months, and they decided that he should move in with them. He didn’t have a job and hadn’t paid his rent, and got kicked out of his apartment.
    Esther despised him and she also feared him. For the first week everything was fine besides the parties and the friends that came with Brad. They shot heroin and cocaine and did prescription drugs. Esther quickly learned not to be around them when all this was going on. She was mostly ignored anyways. More than once she was raped by Brad or one of the other men, her mom was too high to even know what was going on.
    After a while things started getting worse, Brad was abusive, to Esther’s mom as well as herself, he still frequently raped her, making her feel guilty if she struggled at all and threatening her. She felt worthless and afraid of everyone. When it wasn’t Brad abusing her it was her mom. Occasionally they kept her home from school because of obvious bruises or burns.
    In turn, Esther was angry and abusive to other children on the playground, animals, anyone smaller than herself. She’d feel a rage building inside of her and then just explode. She felt terrible every time this happened but she couldn’t help herself. She mouthed off to the teachers and was sullen and distrustful, often getting herself into detention, she got mostly failing grades which earned her more beatings when she got home.
     She didn’t understand herself or her world, she wished she could escape somehow. She tried running away a few times but always got too scared and came back. Once she lasted for a week, stealing food and sleeping wherever she could in the alleys, she was wandering around town feeling lost and ran into a group of boys. They looked old even though they couldn’t have been older than seventeen, and they were much bigger, but then she was tiny for her age, thin and short, with long, thin, coarse black hair and big, clear blue eyes. She was dirty from head to toe and starved. Her black t-shirt was ripped and stained and her jeans were faded and dirty too.
    “Where ya think yar goin?” the biggest boy asked gruffly. He had greasy, shaggy shoulder length brown hair and hard green eyes. He was about twice her size and was also dirty and unkempt. There were three others besides himself, they were all a little smaller than him but still looked intimidating and hard.
    “I’m just walking.” she answered defiantly, trying to keep from showing how afraid she was.
    “Do ya know who I am?” he asked menacingly.
    “No.” she shook her head.
    “I’m the leader of the Angels.”
    “The Angels?” Esther felt confused, this didn’t ring a bell!
    “They’ve made headlines! How can you not know?”
    “I don’t know, I don’t watch news or read the newspaper.”
    “How old are you anyways?”
    “Ten.” she felt small.
    “Why are you out here on the streets? Mom and daddy kick ya out?”
    “No! I ran away.”
    “I like this girls’ attitude and she’s young yet, teachable, what ya say Ricky? Take her back with us?”
    “She’s a pretty one, a little thin, but she could be useful.” the boy addressed agreed. He was wearing dark jeans and a white t-shirt under a black leather jacket with a symbol on the front and back. His hair too was long and greesy like the first guys, except his was blond. He had light blue eyes and an almost handsome face.
    “So you want a place to stay and food? You don’t come back with us you won’t be safe, if you’re one of ours and as long as you’re loyal to the gang we’ll protect you. But you make one wrong move and you’re out. Deal?” She hesitated. “Or we can just take ya out right now if that seems more pleasant.” She shook her head,
    “I’ll come with you.”
    “Good.” She could see something in his eyes that she had never seen before, approval was it? She had never had any one approve of her before and she soaked it up. It was a good feeling.
    “What’s your name?”  
    “Esther.”
    “I’m Ron.”
    “Ron.” Esther repeated. “And you’re the leader?”
    “Pretty much. These are my boys, “Karlos, Rico and Ricky.”
    Rico was mexican looking, short and stocky, thick black hair and brown eyes. Karlos was tough and hard looking, brown eyes and brown hair, tall and muscular with a horrible red scar across his right cheek.
    
    Esther was initiated into the gang, when they got back, as Ron’s girlfriend. Gang life was alright. She was safe, she gave Ron what he wanted and he lavished affection on her and protected her. But even the horrors of home hadn’t prepared her for the horror stories in the gang. Fights, initiations, murder, theft. The Angels did make headlines. The boys ranged from fourteen to nineteen. Ron was seventeen.
    For the first month everything was safe and good, but eventually, she started helping them on their missions. At one point she was with Ron, they’d just jumped a rich looking guy for his money and they got busted, Ron dragged her with him, as they ran at one point she stumbled and fell, she recovered quickly but the police were there and they were on her. Ron tried to fight them off but in the end she was arrested and Ron escaped.
    She was told she’d be sent to a foster home.